My blog is split into four sections: ramble, in which is a loosely structured talk about anything regarding writing and creativity; progress, which is devoted to any updates on projects; writer’s desk, where I discuss genres, forms and writing techniques that influence me; and media highlight, where I share my favourite books, films, games and such. Each section is titled, so you can skip any that don’t interest you. Enjoy!

Ramble:

This blog marks the launch of my website, which feels very daunting and also a little silly to say. Which the topic of this section of the blog — how intimidating it is to take yourself seriously. I’ve always struggled to consider myself a Writer, or an Artist. It felt like there was a massive gulf between me, hunched over my desk squeezing out about three words a minute, and established authors, or even more experienced peers. Until fairly recently, I’d decided to treat my writing as practise.

Obviously, this didn’t stick for long. It was frustrating to work in a project and feel like it didn’t ‘count’. More than that, it became quickly apparent that there was no such thing as feeling ready. My writing isn’t perfectly polished and I’m still learning, but I don’t think either of those things means someone shouldn’t share what they create. If the only media allowed to be published and released was the technically flawless, some of my favourite books, games and films wouldn’t exist. I don’t know if my projects will be anybody’s favourite, but I’m looking forward to finding out.

Progress:

(subscribe to the mailing list to get updates on projects straight to your inbox! Don’t worry, it won’t get filled with spam — I don’t complete things that fast)

- I’m onto the second draft of my current main project, The Seventh Season. It’s a sapphic horror novelette following a young woman living alone navigating her feelings for a stranger who turns up on the doorstep of her cabin in need of shelter, whilst the forest around them becomes warped by strange powers, threatening to tear reality apart. If you would like to beta read a section, email scrapsofworlds@gmail.com!

- I’ve got my first magazine piece as A. H. Pidgeon in the works! I’m keeping this project under wraps for now, mostly because I’m unsure what I’m allowed to share, but there’ll be more news on this front coming soon.

Writer’s desk:

For this first entry, I’ll be talking about weird fiction. It’s difficult to define as a genre because it’s characterised mostly by feeling. On paper, it’s an offshoot of speculative fiction, usually with a darker tone. Lovecraft is the best known weird fiction writer, but besides him being a less than lovely man, there are far more interesting examples out there — many of which I’ll be talking about in media highlights.

I owe a lot to this genre. Growing up in the height of creepypasta and internet horror stories, I was exposed to many elements of weird fiction before I even knew what to call it. Monsters beyond human comprehension lurked in the fiction I read, and crept into my imagination. As a child, I entertained myself with stories in my head of protagonists facing off against strange creatures of incredible power.

Nowadays, nearly everything I write is weird fiction, or at the very least adjacent to it. Besides my attachment to the genre, it’s fun to write the unknowable. As someone that’s always been in equal parts terrified and fascinated by everything I don’t understand, it’s almost a comfort to be able to fictionalise these concepts. Though many pieces of weird fiction focus on existential dread, in my own writing, I like to temper this with a sense of hope. The protagonists may be tiny and insignificant in comparison to the antagonists, but in their shadow they manage to carve out an existence, find meaning even when doom is a constant presence. They are tired, faced with impossible odds, but they find the strength to continue each day, and cherish their small corner of the world.

Media highlight:

Cultist Simulator

As the saying goes, if Weatherfactory has one fan, I’m that fan; if Weatherfactory has no fans, someone probably needs to check up on me. I’ll talk about their TTRPG, The Lady Afterwards and C.S’s friendlier cousin, Book of Hours in later posts, but for my first blog update it felt only fitting to talk about the studio’s earliest game and the one that had the biggest impact on me: Cultist Simulator. Despite the name, it’s not a simulator in a traditional sense. Instead, when you start the game, you are greeted with a simple card table, and from there, everything gets weird.

You play as one of a few different characters. On your first run, you will be ‘the aspirant’ — an academic searching for something more fulfilling. Whichever character you start as, though, the game unfolds in a similar way (unless you’re playing as a DLC character). After an introduction that gives you an insight into your circumstances and teaches you how to play, you’re on your own. Time to panic.

Cultist Simulator is a game that is in equal parts beautiful, eerie, and very, very stressful. Alexis Kennedy’s writing is almost lyrical, and stays in your mind long after you close the game. Lottie Bevan’s writing and the music by Mickymar’s productions creates an atmosphere like no other, and helps put you in the shoes of someone scrabbling in darkness for answers. Fitting, as you play as a cult leader piecing together scraps of occult knowledge in order to ascend. Of course, you don’t have to follow that path. You can fall in love. Or, erm, settle for an office job.

The endings you’ll see most, though, are failure screens. Cultist Simulator is Difficult. You have to be patient to reach your goal, and the runthroughs you get to play after achieving a standard victory are even more trying — especially given that if you fail, you’ll have to complete a standard victory again to get another chance. But reducing Cultist Simulator to story beats and mechanics doesn’t do it justice. What sticks with me most are snatches of text from random occurrences, the jarring images that appear if your dread or fascination rises too high, the absolute terror of The Worms track. And the raw prophets. Adorable little horrors. All these elements makes the ‘feel’ of Cultist Simulator unique, and more importantly, hauntingly beautiful.